disgusting cake :(

Monday, May 22, 2006 11:29 PM

no more MCs for lunchtime concert..
yap weiming thinks that he introduce can le..
dont need to ask two ppl to go and intro..
abit redundant..
ohwels.
whatever he says ba..
im fine with it.
thank God he told kokwey and me before we started writing.
if not il just die on the spot.
hrmphs.
then yap weiming told me to write out the script for the AE MCs.
eh.
i was abit pist off lar.
cz he was throwin everything to me.
its such a huge task lar.
alot of things to do..
and i hafta get it done by this fri..
phys test this thurs somemore..

kokwey was with me,

heard everything,

saw my damn gek face,

and he offered to help..

say if i need anything just msg him or give him a call..

THANKS KOKWEY :D

thats so nice of you yar?

anws, went back to my bag there and sat down..

shi chie was in front of me..

then i ranted to him also..

he was sayin, i shld have said no..

shld have just told him that i cant make it.

but, it was so hard.

weiming told me he was gna have 2 SPAs this week..

ehhs..

but shichie said that he doesnt mind hlpin also..

THANKS TO YOU TOO, SHI CHIE..

then kokwey sat down nxt to me..

two of them were tellin me, hey you can do it yar?

we believe in you.

then kokwey had to leave.

keep tellin me to smile..

but sorry eh.

was really worried, cldnt really smile.

ehs..

i was feelin really gek..

then i cldnt tk it anymore..

regina's lesson just ended so i called her and complained.

regina was feelin rather bu4 zhi2 for me..

said, why weiming throw everything to you de..

then she came down to the band room and she told me,

ayye dont worry kay, we will help you.

REGINA YOU ARE SO NICE :D

she sent me a msg just now also..

she is so sweet..

realised that shldnt leave chester out of all these and ostracize him..

then i went over and told him what happened lar..

he was saying, why dont you just tell him that you cant do it?

i was like, cz i said okay le.. i cant take it back.. and somemore he is a snr lehh.. i usually do what snrs tell me to do de..

then chester was like, ayye, the way you are answering him is like the way you answer your parents lor. he is not your mother, just tell him okay? say you cant make it or something.

before i go on, THANKS ALOT CHESTER :)

thanks for lettin me know and hlping out..

i cant blif how sweet and nice all my frens can be...

anws,

the moment i heard that, i wanted to cry liao.

cz i just realised that, what he pointed out was so right.

and for the past seventeen years, i havent realised that.

i havent realised that ive been way too timid to let ppl know that i cant do something, esp when someone asks me a favour, or when the task comes to me like a command..

i dont dare to reject, i dont dare to tell them that hey, im sorry, i really cant hlp you this time.

i dont have the courage to tell them that i cant hlp them, unless i really have to.

i will just take whatever that comes to me,

at the most, complain once or twice to my closer frens, then complete the task that had been assigned to me.

i go to the extent of sacrificin my studies just to help ppl.

i sacrifice my slp, my energy, my time.

and sometimes, ppl just take me for granted.

and they not only do it once, twice, but many, many times to the extent that they have crossed the line..

but, what can i do?

so what if i had realised this side of me had caused me much trouble?

i will still continue to be me.

i will still do what i had been doing.

cz somehow, i dont have the courage to say no.

im worried abt how the others might feel.

im worried abt how much trouble the others hafta go thru.

i would rather me myself do it and make that person happy..

haix.

guess this is me?

ohwels.

hey..

i know that, w/o even tellin mj this, i know she will be there..

sorry for not tellin you all these stuff right aft i met these probs this aftnn.. :/

anws,

i hope this entry hasnt prevented ppl from askin me for help..

seriously, il be willin to do anything to help someone as long as it is not against my ability and moral values..

i hope i hadnt made anyone avoid me and stop gettin me involved in anything..

pls, if anyone needs help, do come and ask me alright?

this is just a self reflectin entry ba..

it means nothing.

nothing will change aft this.

not you who is readin this, not me who is typin this.

we wont change, the situation wont change, nothin is going to change.

really.

this is just some stupid emo entry of mine.

a self-reflection entry will not cause any changes in anyone's life.

PLS, PROMISE ME THAT NOTHING WILL CHANGE AFT READING THIS.

eh..

what am i doing?

mata..

Monday, May 22, 2006 11:29 PM

kokwey was with me,

heard everything,

saw my damn gek face,

and he offered to help..

say if i need anything just msg him or give him a call..

THANKS KOKWEY :D

thats so nice of you yar?

anws, went back to my bag there and sat down..

shi chie was in front of me..

then i ranted to him also..

he was sayin, i shld have said no..

shld have just told him that i cant make it.

but, it was so hard.

weiming told me he was gna have 2 SPAs this week..

ehhs..

but shichie said that he doesnt mind hlpin also..

THANKS TO YOU TOO, SHI CHIE..

then kokwey sat down nxt to me..

two of them were tellin me, hey you can do it yar?

we believe in you.

then kokwey had to leave.

keep tellin me to smile..

but sorry eh.

was really worried, cldnt really smile.

ehs..

i was feelin really gek..

then i cldnt tk it anymore..

regina's lesson just ended so i called her and complained.

regina was feelin rather bu4 zhi2 for me..

said, why weiming throw everything to you de..

then she came down to the band room and she told me,

ayye dont worry kay, we will help you.

REGINA YOU ARE SO NICE :D

she sent me a msg just now also..

she is so sweet..

realised that shldnt leave chester out of all these and ostracize him..

then i went over and told him what happened lar..

he was saying, why dont you just tell him that you cant do it?

i was like, cz i said okay le.. i cant take it back.. and somemore he is a snr lehh.. i usually do what snrs tell me to do de..

then chester was like, ayye, the way you are answering him is like the way you answer your parents lor. he is not your mother, just tell him okay? say you cant make it or something.

before i go on, THANKS ALOT CHESTER :)

thanks for lettin me know and hlping out..

i cant blif how sweet and nice all my frens can be...

anws,

the moment i heard that, i wanted to cry liao.

cz i just realised that, what he pointed out was so right.

and for the past seventeen years, i havent realised that.

i havent realised that ive been way too timid to let ppl know that i cant do something, esp when someone asks me a favour, or when the task comes to me like a command..

i dont dare to reject, i dont dare to tell them that hey, im sorry, i really cant hlp you this time.

i dont have the courage to tell them that i cant hlp them, unless i really have to.

i will just take whatever that comes to me,

at the most, complain once or twice to my closer frens, then complete the task that had been assigned to me.

i go to the extent of sacrificin my studies just to help ppl.

i sacrifice my slp, my energy, my time.

and sometimes, ppl just take me for granted.

and they not only do it once, twice, but many, many times to the extent that they have crossed the line..

but, what can i do?

so what if i had realised this side of me had caused me much trouble?

i will still continue to be me.

i will still do what i had been doing.

cz somehow, i dont have the courage to say no.

im worried abt how the others might feel.

im worried abt how much trouble the others hafta go thru.

i would rather me myself do it and make that person happy..

haix.

guess this is me?

ohwels.

hey..

i know that, w/o even tellin mj this, i know she will be there..

sorry for not tellin you all these stuff right aft i met these probs this aftnn.. :/

anws,

i hope this entry hasnt prevented ppl from askin me for help..

seriously, il be willin to do anything to help someone as long as it is not against my ability and moral values..

i hope i hadnt made anyone avoid me and stop gettin me involved in anything..

pls, if anyone needs help, do come and ask me alright?

this is just a self reflectin entry ba..

it means nothing.

nothing will change aft this.

not you who is readin this, not me who is typin this.

we wont change, the situation wont change, nothin is going to change.

really.

this is just some stupid emo entry of mine.

a self-reflection entry will not cause any changes in anyone's life.

PLS, PROMISE ME THAT NOTHING WILL CHANGE AFT READING THIS.

eh..

what am i doing?

mata..