hachimitsu to kuroba! (which means, honey and clover)
the 3rd drama that i chionged within the week! =)
theres something about jap dramas that make me really happy when i watch them.
whether they are good dramas or just average ones.
haha.
anw, i think honey and clover isnt really that nice.
its like quite sian in the middle, cz they are all stuck at their love triangles that are like looping like almost everyone on the street.
hahaha. okay no lar.
but that clique of 5, alr got 4 one-sided relationships involved, and one two-sided relationships that occured at different timings so end up also never tgt.
ie, by the time the guy like the girl, the girl dont like the guy alr. zzzzzz.
quite lame.
i dont like mukai osamu as mayama in this show.
he is a boring character that keeps refusing to let go of that older woman.
zzzzzzz.
but i love takemoto's (ikuta toma) stories.
like the part where he went on a bike trip that made me quite inspired and motivated about my studies too.
and i was really caught by one of the sensei's statements.
he told takemoto, it doesnt matter what your initial reason was for joining university, as long as it is not a reason that prevents you from moving forward.
haha yea. i also gave myself excuses for not being able to do well.
anw, yupp and im quite happy that he found a way out, and i am inspired to find my way out as well.
WOOTS!
がんばります！

in any case, i am now back in sch, gg for lessons as a YEAR TWO.
wahlao, damn sad leh.
but i am gg to try hard for my studies.
and i started to question myself,
what does it mean to truly understand?
when the lecturer told us to go back and think, and try to figure out whats so significant about the electron travelling at 1% of the speed of light when calculating the de Broglie's wavelength, i went back, stare at the qn, and i wondered what is the lecturer asking for.
just calc the wavelength la, whats with the significance. zz.
sigh.
"i understand" - does it mean to know what the lecturer is talking about, does it mean to make sense out of what the lecturer just said, or does it mean to truly understand all the history behind the concept and exactly how it works?
its the depth.
we know that knowledge cant be measured by depth.
but how deep is the lecturer asking for..
sigh.

all the ppl i am having fun with in band is leaving or had alr left.
i am really quite upset about that.
i cant stop them from leaving.
just that, band gets more sian without these ppl around.
and i dont know what to do abt that.
of cz, they got their own lives to lead.
and some ppl who didnt leave cz of some reason or another, they look so damn sian diao until i really duno what to do to help them be themselves in band again.
sigh.

i am quite sickk of the way a human works.
sighs.

mata ne..

this entry is dedicated to mj, my one and only twin.
dear, you know what this is about. =)
幸せになってください!

mata ne..

MEI CHAN NO SHITSUJI!
i seriously chionged drama these few days.
and i am feeling extremely happy about it.
cz both atashinchi no danshi and meichan no shitsuji are DARN GOOD SHOWS!
(oh btw, the 2nd son for atashinchi no danshi acted as horikita maki's older bro in hana kimi! :o)
in meichan no shitsuji,
there is mizushima hiro again!
yea yea the soushi from zettai kareshi etc.
i was damn shocked when i saw him.
cz i din expect him to be inside.
BUT HES DAMN COOL!
and hes smile had never been more stunning in the show. =D
i wanted to see more of mukai osamu (HAHA) tho.
BUT HE IS EVIL IN THIS SHOWWWW!!
and why did he dye his hair white!!!!!
saddeddd!!
and he is YAMADA YU's butler in the show!! なぜ？！？！？
i thot seigi no mikata was enough!!
seriously dont like the characters that yamada yu acted. and some more she got the scheming evil face.
だ・い・き・ら・い！
why put mukai osamu with yamada yu!! =(
i still think mukai osamu and horikita maki is GOOD. =)
and i recognise a few more faces like the oscar guy in hana kimi, and the hibari girl from the hibari four in hana kimi also.
and alot more ppl!
excited-ness. =D

atashinchi no danshi was about family, and it was a very heartwarming show.
i love it when the 6 sons quarrel and fight but end up standing up for each other, and crying for each other.
there are alot of scenes where it is happy this moment, and immediately the atmosphere changes in the next cz of somethings that happened.
its unpredictable, and i love that part about it.
there are alot of scenes in the show that is worth rewatching and to be remembered.
it has the same style as hana kimi, ie some things are rather ridiculous.
like the lawyer just pop of out nowhere all the time. HAHA.
but it has slightly more meaning than hana kimi.
=)
meichan no shitsuji has a damn ridiculous setting.
this damn nerdy girl called mei from country side going into a damn posh girls' school where every girl has a good looking butler looking after them.
then the butler literally does EVERYTHING for them.
superbly ridiculous. haha.
but the show is dark and scary!
cz shiori (yamada yu) is damnnn scheming!
and sadded shinobu (mukai osamu) has to do all the bad things for her! =((
but ultimately, it is a very good show.
love mizushima hiro's smile.
and meichan doesnt look too good in the show, but actually she is darn pretty!!
=D
and watching this show, my jap honorific form improved!
cz all the butlers use superbly honorific form to their mistresses.
かしこまりました！
おまたせいたしました！
ごきげんよ！
失礼いたしました！
=D

i am damn glad that i am watching jap dramas.
it keeps me from thinking of the things that frustrates me.
and i love the way jap dramas tell little stories and the principles of life behind the entertainment.
SUPERBLY ENJOYED WATCHING THE TWO SHOWS THAT I JUST FINISHED.
cant get enough of those shows. cant wait for the special epis to come out!
woots!
i shall make a list of jap dramas that i finished so far =)

mata ne.

atashinchi no danshi!
i just finished this drama.
its very nice!
i love it!
and i like sho alot.
altho this is like the 3rd show im watching with him in it.
in nodame he was the cello player with 3 gfs, then theres seigi no mikata where he was that magnanimous husband.
but hes extremely stunning in atashinchi no danshi!
=D
i also like satoru!
hes so kawaii!
i like the way he secretly crush chisato. =D
then he always fight with masaru!
masaru was the one who acted in hana kimi and can sense the aura de.
sooo cute!
oh yea and chisato is horikita maki.
i think shes more stunning in this show than in hana kimi also.
i love her smile lar, so pretty!!
hahha love the show, and i absolutely love the ending.
and i think sho and chisato is a good match. =))
cant wait for the special epi. that will take quite some time tho.
YAYYYYY.

but that show is probably the only thing that i am happy about right now.
its just, everything sucks 100%.
and i am feeling superblyy sian.
i think i got burnt out from last week.
and thinking back, i duno why im doing so much for nus' matriculation.
for that bunch of freshies who dont bother about my existence.
its just, running up and down between 2 ccas was extremely exhausting, and at the end of the day, i feel like i dont get anything from it.

ah, apologise for the pessimism.
i think band prac had been pretty sian lately.
and i feel even worse after each band prac.
i am not too sure if its just me or its really the atmosphere in band.
or maybe its good to be a normal member, minding your own business, not knowing all the inside stuff, and just plainly play music.

ppl can get THAT complicated.
i duno. im just very confused about my stand.
its just, as i get older, things around me get complicated.
and i wonder if i shld complicate my own thinking to better deal with the happenings around me.
but i love the way things are kept simple.
a line is drawn and i keep by it.
sometimes its like as if my lines are being drawn by chalk.
it always gets messed up somehow, and rather easily.

sch is starting soon.
and i am back to sch as a year two.
alot of mixed feelings, alot of worries, alot of uncertainties..
i am not too sure how to deal with them.
theres just so much i can do.. i guess leave the rest to God.
but im worried, nonetheless..

and again, theres just so much i can do as a human.
sometimes, like a cactus, to protect myself, i subconsciously hurt others.
i dont mean it, but i really need to back out of it cz everything was getting scary.
way too scary for me to handle.
and, sorry for being easily irritable recently.
with everything whizzing past me all the time, its hard to grab hold of everything, and it gets frustrating.

sometimes i wonder where is our band heading.
and i wonder where is my life heading towards too.
what in the world am i doing?
and im taking the full blow of all my probs myself.
i get so tired of trying to solve and recover from each blow.
sometimes i wish there is really somebody to 怖い物から守ってくれる.
i can hardly face all these straight on anymore.

生活は辛いね。
いくら一生懸命がんばっても、全部が悪くなる。
この気持ちは最低だ。
i have so many so many thots going on in my head.
and its impossible to blast everything here.
i need to set things straight.
i feel like a mess.
like a ball of yarn all tangled up tgt.
sigh.

守ってくれる?　助けてくれる?　そばにいてくれる?
私のために、泣いてくれる？

mata ne..