hai.
a repeat of history.
dont-need-to-tell-gloria-cz-shes-a-temp-worker episode number 2.
just that this time, its not.. as bad.
but the way events unfold, i really wonder if its my problem.
like, maybe i shld have just let things go on without unraveling mistakes, giving in to the definition of a temp worker.
but, to put it more seriously, its a violation of human rights.
why contribute to the imperfect information factor of market failure?
its unfair, it really is.
but thats the working world for you.
who cares if youre not told what youre supposed to know?
who cares if youre eating the fruits of others' mistakes?
who cares if you can write all the addresses on envelopes without any mistakes?
who cares if you can locate all the case notes that are asked from you?
as long as life seems to go well, any move that causes the water to ripple is a wrong move.
be it for a good or a bad cause.
and you get paid just the same, for making mistakes and for doing the right thing.
hai.
for every good thing that happens to you, sth bad will happen to compensate for it.
tho a superstition, sometimes it really does seem to be true.
anw, today on radio i heard two songs.
"superstar" and "best things in life are free".
haha.
amazing how i heard both nyjc orientation '06 mass dances' music on radio in one single day.
once again, i miss school loads. =(
okay theres this song that is stuck in my head.
thanks to the show "white chicks", which i watched 2 sundays ago.
when i heard the piano part in the beginning, i thot it sounded quite familiar, cz i think i heard it a few times back in sec sch.
so ytd i found the song, and it kept playing in my head.
here it is, the mtv, followed by the lyrics.
il put my favourite lines in italics! =D
and i love the piano part!

A Thousand Miles
Vanessa Carlton

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
Tonight

It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder if you ever
Think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your
Precious memories

'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
Tonight

And I, I don't want to let you know
I, I drown in your memory
I, I don't want to let this go
I, I don't....

Making my way downtown
Walking fast
Faces pass
And I'm home bound

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making a way
Through the crowd

And I still need you
And I still miss you
And now I wonder....

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass.. us by
'Cause you know I'd walkj thousand miles
If I could just see you...

If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you
Tonight

=)
the song is so catchy!
eh, to me lar.
haha.
alriteys.
gtg.
life is so boring that i dont know what to do w it.
haha.
how do you think it would feel like,
if we could really fall through the sky?

mata ne..

okay, i cant stand it anymore.
i feel like an utter useless piece of shit who is a good for nothing.
ive been slacking at home and doing NOTHING constructive for the past two and a half weeks.
and i hate myself for that.
yes yes, ive asked agents for help.
and so many of them.
but now i wonder if i can even trust them to find a job for me.
il bet they had thrown my details away cz i refuse to do admin jobs.
AND ITS BECAUSE I HAVE ALLERGIES AND NOT CZ IM PICKY OKAY.
although il admit that 20% is cz im quite sick of admin.
i am so freaking pist off at myself for not being able to solve this big fat shitty problem that is dumped right in front of my face a few weeks ago.
im tired of interviews and looking for jobs and calling ppl up and getting rejected and ppl depending on me to find sth and come up w a solution.
understand the meaning of frustration?
now its like as if i have each foot on a different boat, named "ask agency" and "find one yourself" respectively.
before i can pick one foot up and put it tgt w the other foot in the other boat, i fall right through the water.
and guess what? if i stay like this, il still fall into the water anyway.
i so cant take this anymore.
no, i am not some boulder that cant be knocked down.
and no, neither can i support, 24/7, all the ppl who are trying to find sth to lean on.
im sick of doing all these by myself, pretending to be the strongest person in the world who can accomplish all things.
pretending that oh-im-happy-all-the-time-cz-no-problem-is-too-hard-for-me-to-solve.
and im sick of the responsibilities that arent supposed to be mine yet is placed on me for no good freaking reason.
the ironic thing is, my own responsibilities cant seem to be able to find their way to me.
in other words, i am not doing the things that im supposed to be doing.
oh freak, can someone for once tell me what to do?
cz i cant seem to know where is the problem, or what is the problem with me that caused such a mess.
i cant stand waiting for nothing anymore.
wasting my life away.
my life is a complete blank now.
huhs.
maybe i am the one who set the bar so high that i myself cant reach it.
oh what the hell.
just save me and get me out of this.

afterall, i am still a human. i need sth to lean on too.

mata ne..

500TH POST.
alrite.
thats sth special for my 500th post.
haha.
wanted to post photos but unfortunately, wasnt able to.
so i shall do it another day i guess.
okay anw, as suggested by that LEE KOKWEY,
i shall blog abt sth quite farnie today.
yes, and i see your tag on my board -_-
haha alrite here goes.
we went back to sch to check out the band and talk to ms teng and mr neo and eth.
so we were on our way out for lunch.
we reached the basketball court that side, and there were some ppl playing basketball or sth.
walk walk walk, then suddenly, sth brushed my head.
i thot it was someone who attempted to pat my head.
then the next thing i know, a volleyball dropped right in front of me and bounced off.
OH MY GOODNESS.
i was stunned there for like 1 second before i knew what happened!
if i were 1 cm taller, the ball would have smacked right into my head!
hahaha!
so i duno if its a good or bad thing to say but,
LUCKILY IM SHORT.
and not just the normal kind of short (eh, what am i talking abt?)
but i am 149CM SHORT.
not 150.
hahahah.
aft that incident, kok, weechong and zhixiong keep repeating this,
LUCKILY GLORIA IS SHORT.
-_-
haha.
anw, the person who was playing the ball came over and apologised,
then the moment kok saw him, he was like,
"AYYE! youre that trombone junior! trying to kill your fellow band mates arh!"
"AH, sorry sorry -grins-"
me, "WAH! ayye! we're your snrs arh!"
"sorry sorry sorry!"
hahaha.
i think we traumatised that j1 guy.
ahah.
farnie.
so yea, the guys obviously found that incident amusing -_-
THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME~
hahaha.
hm alritey.
ive been slacking at home like nobody's business.
pls pray for me so that il get a job soon.
im starting to feel useless alr.
haha.
its not that i didnt try to find one.
but its just that, every door tht you find is closed, every solution you come up with didnt work out..
and you find it hard to recall the definition of hope.
haha ohwels.
hm, sometimes life is so boring and like totally without flavours..
bland, i would say.
then suddenly, your frens can come like a tiny spark and let its weak glow slightly light up that road ahead.
and you know that, that alone is enough for you to walk on.
never would i have thought that yongde and mingkwang would msg to ask hows life.
yes, i know its random.
i thot it was very random as well.
its not like i havent met them in ages, the last time was two weeks ago, the plaza sing outing.
but hey,
its so nice of them to do that, to remember a few of their frens in the midst of their schedules and what nots..
sending a msg to catch up just that little bit.
sometimes, you wouldnt know that little gesture of yours would be sth significant to the ppl around you.
and know what?
i dont get these kind of msgs very often.
and when i saw the msgs, i was so pleasantly surprised.
hey thanks guys.
really.
and like i always believe, it takes two to make a friendship work and last.
:)
recently, i found it getting harder to catch up w everyone.
cz theres just like too many ppl to talk to.
but il try as much as i can okay!
the thing i said over lunch to the guys, the part abt having new frens next time in uni and not gg out w them anymore, was just a worst case scenario that we all might face.
friendships put to the test of time.
but one thing is that,
i have not, and will not forget anyone who has left footprints in my life.

mata ne..

wahh there are many guys gg in army in the next few days.
last batch of ppl i think.
not too sure whos gg in which day, but here goes.
as much as i can rmb.
yuxi, shichie, chye keong, shaojie, lianfei, qingyi, jianlin, aaron, rice, lincoln, ivan, lucius, joel, junhao.
oh i forgot that samuel went in in march also.
thats abt all ba.
WAHH TAKE CARE ALL OF YOU.
must be guai in there eh!
hahaha.
two weeks confinement very fast de lar.
come out sure macho de.
the effects of the field packs you all are gna carry.
haha.
oh and of cz, the effects of the heavy helmet.
hahaha.
okay inside joke.
hmm.
dont think have to say drink more water cz the sirs and sergs sure make you all drink alot de.
haha.
wel in any case, JUST BE CAREFUL.
i think its an interesting experience in army.
will learn alot de.
(yes and somehow i can hear kok and wc tell me to join army -_-)
bmt is the honeymoon period i guess?
those in alr in units can tell you all that.
haha.
have fun you all, and pls keep in contact w all of us okay!
cz i believe its very easy to lose contact w the army guys, and even harder to do so when the girls go uni le.
i can feel the effects alr.
yay i guess il see you all around thens!
hopefully by that time you all will be botak and macho!
hahah.

mata ne..

first step to sorting your life,
clean up your room.

yay my room is half cleaned.
very happy abt it.
and i cant believe my table is so nice to do work now!
too bad i dont have any homework now.
if not il be seen doing my work on my table for at least a week before it gets too messy to be at again.
haha.
quan hua aunty is very brave.
i really salute her for her courage and faith in God.
yes, how unpredictable life can be.
the very next moment, your loved one can be taken away from you.
treasure, treasure the things around you.
well, my 500th post is coming up.
haha.
maybe il do sth special for that post.
i shall see how.
in the meanwhile, i wish myself all the best in looking for jobs.
-_-"

mata ne..

oh gosh its dustmites.
doc says its the filing and paperwork that i did.
=(
haix.
shit so messy now.
confusing!
I NEED A PLAN.
BADLY.

mata ne..

hai i need to go see doctor.
i think im developing some allergy.
extremely tired from work today.
OT w/o OT rate, damnits.
we are so out of there.
oh goodness..
i need to sort out my life.

mata ne..

my contract at ncss ended ytd.
oh mans.
sudd, i really miss the ppl there.
:/
esp these ppl,
RAD VWO funding's waimun, jeffrey, freda, kim, TRINA, CONSTANCE, annie, JUNE.
of cz wont miss my cousin cz il like still see her.
haha.
RAD SNP's JUDY, SHARON, dawn, LYNN.
CPD's SANDY!
=D
omgg... i like it there so much!
esp after i realise that this job really sucks for me.
okay no offence to yuxi.
but hai.. i miss NCSS 4th floor ppl.
and my favourite PHOTOCOPYING MACHINE.
i almost knew it inside out lar.
everytime paper jam il know where it is.
hahah.
hai.
luckily this one no contract.
shall quickly go find another job to make myself happier.
its freaking upsetting.
heavy hearted.
haha.
cx and me were so disheartened during lunch.
bought newspaper and immediately looked for another job.
haha.
but of cz, to no avail.
hai i duno lar.
just very upsetting.
judy and june called me to talk nonsense to me again.
hahah.
aww yea i miss you guys too!
=((
oh mans i cant believe its so upsetting!
hai.
okok i shall blog photos again.
shall go find job now.

mata atode..