three papers are finally over.
but i think i screwed them all.
din have time to study.
org chem totally took too much time.
sigh, jap was... i duno. i realised i got alot of careless mistakes.
abit worried abt it.
exactly cz im supposed to be good at it thats why the stress level is so high for me.
can you imagine how would i feel if i din get the right grade.
the past 11 years of learning jap just evaporated into thin air.
sigh i duno la.
organic chem was like, duno what i was drawing lar.
and biochem i got no feeling.
but the pharmacy students and the bio students all said it was hard.
can you imagine how it would be for me?
die le la.
but im so tired today.
i din allow myself to slp too much during these two weeks.
after today's paper i just came back and slpt.
wah 2.5 hours.
hopefully this would regenerate my energy for my last paper this saturday.
and once the exams are over, its all over.
i cant imagine if my CAP were to be like last sem lar.
i would be devastated.
the competition here is like, T.T
you get looked down upon if you dont do well.
ppl dont treat you seriously when you ask them questions abt something.
cz they dont benefit when they help you.
its just..
sigh.
once exams are over i have to chiong my tuitions.
cz i cancelled all the tuitions these two weeks..
and there are like exco meetings, for both crusade and band.
band practices are probably starting soon for the 28 june perf.
sigh just forget it.
i should just stop ranting before more ppl start pointing fingers at me and say im making a big deal out of things.

mata ne..

i just want to speak to someone.
i dont need ranting sessions.
i just need light hearted conversations.
and yet everyone is coming to me for ranting sessions.
my brain cant take it anymore.
friends whom ive listened to are not listening to me.
their fun and enjoyment is far more important.
its okay.
its not that i cant deal with this myself.
just that, having friends around would just make my journey easier, thats all.
and thats what im looking for.
spent 10.5 hours frying my brain in the library.
i feel damn shit now.
back home and im still mugging.
and im falling sick some more.
isnt it good to be doing what you like?
it would be, if there are ppl accompanying me through times that are difficult.
life is not always smooth sailing isit?
you can be doing the funnest thing on earth and yet you will still meet setbacks.
i just need a hug, or a call.
"hey take a break from your mugging. talk rubbish with me for 5 mins."
i'd be more than happy to.
that is, if anyone does think abt how im feeling.
its not like as if i had been selfish all along and havent thought about others.
if i had been so, then maybe you can say its karma.
but.
sigh neverminds.
i go listen to webcast.

mata ne..

okay emo emo.
i totally fried my brains today.
yes all the protein denatured due to the high temp in the process of frying.
(do i have to remind myself of biochemistry?)
so tired omgg.. T.T
and i still cant finish mugging.
SHITTY-fied.
eh there are some things i dont understand.
some times i need ppl's enthu-ness to cheer me up.
but i have to be enthu first so that i can induce those responses from ppl to cheer myself up?
then i wont need cheering up in the first place, do i?
doesnt make sense.
-rants nonstop-
God gave us the natural need to feel loved.
its no use acting strong and acting like you dont care.
its like denying the fact that we need to eat.
being too protective of yourself is killing at times.
not allowing ppl to help, not allowing ppl to take even one step into your life.
or maybe its just cz you cant trust me.
I AM NOT GNA CARE ABOUT HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS THESE TWO WEEKS.
come find me if you want, cz im not gna go find anyone.
-a very pist off gloria is venting and ranting-
haha.
in any case,
yes, my brain is officially DEAD (Di Ethyl Azo-Dicarboxlate).
?!?!?!?!?!?!
omggg its driving me crazy.

mata ne..

recently i dont blog 2 days consecutively de.
cz i wont have much to say.
but since im waiting for my restaurant city on facebook to level up,
and i realise i have a task at hand, so i shall just do it.
i know of the existence of someone, whom ive got NO ABSOLUTE IDEA how he looks like.
but he got read my blog! (for what reasons ive got no clue)
so i decided that i shall give him a special mention. hahaha.
HI JERYL!
i know youre out there. hahahah.
=)
have fun in safband with kokwey.
i know its torturous; i can understand your agony.
just a while more! jiayou!! hahaha :P
(i think kok will just kill me lar)
hahahaha okokok.
i shall update abit abt today's outing ba.
so many ppl turned up!!
happy!! :D
kok, wc, mingkwang, mingwei, shaoming, yuxi, chuanxin, carol, edmund, zhixiong, and weihao!
woot!!
its nice to see all the jc ppl again =)
we waited sooo long for kok lar.
sianded.

see guang guang so tired!!

so we finished eating and we walked over to bugis and kok met us there.
hmm.. we walked around the new cinema thingy at bugis.
quite nice, but not totally done up yet.
haha next time shld have quite alot of ppl.
group shot with the mascot for breadtalk!

sort of celebrated carol's bdae.
quite paiseh to give her such a slip shot one.

and kok din eat his dinner so i pei-ed him at manhattan fish market while the rest walked around.
yea the waitress pulled the chair for kok and not for me?!?!?!?!?!
I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT CHAIR INCIDENT LO.
LIFE IS SUPERRR UNFAIR. =(((((((
you shld have seen both our expressions when the girl came.
hahha.
this pic he like digging for gold lidat.

oh yea and i think they gave him one more piece of dory (i wonder why. haha) and he couldnt finish so i had to help him!! =(((
i full le lehhhh =(
haha.
after tht it was real late so we just went back.
i always love the presence of these ppl.
at least for me, i like crapping loads with them.
this pic is damn nice lar, just that weechong is too selfish to bend down for mingwei to be seen :P
ahaha. wasted.

okay thats abt it for today!
its late and tmr got church! :O
and i need to go chiong my mugging for exams le.
sigh.
絶対いい成績を取らなければならないよ!

mata ne..

sigh.
today is my last day of gg to sch for lessons as a freshie.
OH MY GOODNESS CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT ONE ACADEMIC YEAR FLEW PAST JUST LIKE THAT?!
i wonder what i had been doing.
all the uni memories seem so new.
but actually it hadnt been very long either.
it was just 12 and 13 weeks for sem 1 and 2.
but still!!
hmm exams are coming in a week's time.
24april CM1121
27april LSM1401
28april LAJ2201
2may CM1131.
dieeeeee.
i dont even know if my study methods are right.
i am feeling VERY insecure.
sigh.
time flies, doesnt it?
i wonder why each time im still surprised by that fact.
sighh.. actually i am very very tired.
and i am very emo.
my brain is like stale and stagnant.
and the word "sigh" appears in front of me every 5 minutes.
i need to look away, take a step back.
sch sucks big time.
BIG TIME.
recently i keep spamming calls to my friends after school cz i need ppl to talk to.
trying to scatter my complains around so that i get to vent and ppl dont get too tired of listening. at least, i hope not to tire them out.
thanks to all who listened to my nonsense.
im sorryyy..
but i want to ask for one more thing.
i need a hug badly.
cz hugs make me feel better.
and i dont get hugs in sch right now cz the ppl that will give me hugs are in ntu.
lirong is like miles away when shes staying in ntu.
even tho sunyu is here, i dont see her often.
and i havent been going over to her place for quite some time now.
i dont even know whats happening to rongjie lar.
i used to have mj hugging me everytime she sees me back in ny.
i hardly even see chuanxin in sch now, esp when band has ended.
shes not exactly very energetic recently too.
grace is like, super sianded.
but anw she got her bf too.
(oh yea i kinda get to leech from her everytime during CM1121 lab cz we both always cant finish and grace's bf and his frens will come and help her, and they will help me clean up too. WAH i feel quite paiseh. but so good arh, shes damn lucky shit to have a bf help her and everything. haha)
i duno how, but the ppl around me in nus recently are like, guys?
esp those that have the same modules as me.
and its damn impossible for guys to treat you seriously when you tell them that youre upset.
they'll just look at you and, "isit?"
or at most they'll just ask you why and ignore you after that when you tell them your reason.
ahhh.
AH IM FEELING VERY SAD =(
-screams-
AND I WANT A HUG!
so tired, im really very tired =(((
and no one will take that statement seriously.
hahha.
okok i dont know how else to rant without me repeating myself so il just end here.
i shld just go and be an introvert and draw my organic molecules all day.

mata ne..

oh dear oh dear..
whats happening?!

mata ne..

went back to listen to ny today.
they had a rehearsal at rp.
it brought back so many memories.
the bus ride to rp was pretty nostalgic too.
but like what kok was saying, yess the feeling is different already.
haha.
so many of us went back today.
4 jnrs, 6 snrs. (if i got my math right)
we had some inside joke.
esp abt this part tht our teacher's teacher sung 2 years ago.
and we all could relate so well to it.
its quite farnie.
haha i guess only my batch and the 1 year jnr batch would all understand.
hahaha.
its nice to be in the presence of all the old friends again.
it makes me feel like myself.
i duno... uni is driving me crazy.
sigh.
kok is reading my mind better everytime i see him.
its damn zai but its scary at the same time. haha.
://
before that we can be talking abt sth else. and then,
i can say sth like, "you know their.."
and hes like, "yar remove already right."
O.O
omg too zai alr!! :O
i feel like beating him nonstop and make him tell me how come he knows.
hahaha.
oh dear..
you knw its nice to have friends who know you well.
cz you dont have to put up a face in front of them.
despite the fact that you make so many mistakes you know they arent gna stop being your friend cz of that.
and all the embarrassing moments.
=((
i think some ppl are still laughing like shit at me cz of those moments. haha.
stop laughing at me! =(
i feel DAMN paiseh cz of that! =(
haha sigh.
im feeling very upset.
im really very very sian.
no, not cz of the embarrassing moments. haha.
and its not cz of the fact that life hasnt been treating me well.
its my mind, its not sending me the right feelings.
i over react, i under react, i react wrongly.
im troubled and affected by many things, and i cant seem to find a solution to get out of them.
its just all so scattered that i cant put a finger to where the root is.
and theres this lingering pain in my shoulder that is not gg away.
you know, i really give up.
i dont know how to go about doing this.
i know im repeating myself,
but at the very least,
being with my friends makes me feel like myself again.
haha.
haiya, i shld get back to drawing organic compounds lar.

mata ne..

haha from the days im blogging you can tell when im free and when im not.
for the past sem i had been blogging on wednesdays and weekends only lar.
and sometimes on mondays.
haha cz of my free day on wednesdays. haha.
sigh im gna make this short cz i need to start on my org chem revision.
im 3 days behind schedule.
hmm two videos for those who are reading this.
i suggest you all just click on the vid and go youtube to watch.
cz i went to shrink the vids and they are abit disproportionate.
haha.
first up is this advertisement by mcys i think.
its a scene at a funeral and its very touching.

aww did you tear?
i almost did when i saw this vid on tvmobile.
had to control myself on the bus you see. :P
haha.
we complain everyday, about things, about the people around us.
yes, due to their flaws and imperfections.
haha.
never would we have thought that these imperfections are what makes a someone so special and different from others.
being able to accept someone even as a fren is your ability to accept that person's flaws.
i caught a line off the advert.
"little imperfections that made them perfect".
maybe this is what ppl meant when they say, "that person is perfect in my eyes."
ahaha.
ohwels.
a new song by kelly clarkson.
it was being promoted on channel news asia primetime morning.
saw it when i was on the bus to sch.
haha. yea probably my tv times are during those 20 mins bus rides to sch.
they actually rated that album 5/5, which is something i hardly saw!
so i decided to check out this song.
its quite cute.
"my life would suck without you".

actually im not exactly crazy over this song.
just thot its quite a cute song to listen to.
haha.
hmm..
got a jap skit and another freshman sem presentation tmr.
oh talking abt jap skit.
its quite farnie.
zhenghong, tianju and me were scripting it on msn and it was quite hilarious.
take a look!

Cast List
A さん：Zhenghong　さん
B さん： Gloria　さん
Shopkeeper さん：Tian Ju さん


A: 今日は本当に暑いね！
B: うん！冷たくておいしい飲み物を飲みたいよ。
A: なにかいい？
B: えーと。。。
Bubble Tea (BBT)を飲みたい?
A: それ、なに？
飲むと、bubble になる？
*B whacks A’s head*
B: バカじゃない？つれていくよ！
*drags A to shop*
Shopkeeper: いっらっしゃいませ！
どんなＢＢＴをのみたいですか？
B: おすすめは何ですか。
Shopkeeper:「すごいPOP茶」はどうですか？
B: いいですね。。ＢＢＴを２杯お願いします！
Shopkeeper: はい、どうぞ！
A: あれ！あのくろいものはなに？！
食べることができる?
食べると、死ぬ~~~~~？
*reacts dramatically, gives freaked out face*
*B whacks A’s head again*　ほんとうだ。バカだ。
Shopkeeper:お客様、ちょっと見てください。
これを持って（ｔｈｅ　ｂｂｔ）、ストローをここに入れて、それから、水をすいてください。口の中で、パールをかんでください。
*A take the small straw, then B will whack the head again and give the big straw*
*A shows sadded face!*
*both drinks BBT*
おいしいですね。飲むとき、気持ちがいいですね。
*A and B nod heads vigorously*
Shopkeeper: わたしのBBTはすごいですよ！一杯をのみと、POP　の音がありますよ！それから、問題を全部忘れました！
ですから、このBBTの名前は「すごいPOP茶」ですよ！
A: ああ、いいね！わたしは　たくさんもんだいがあります！すぐのみたい！
*both starts drinking until they finish the cup*
*makes the pop sound*
うれしくなる！
*all three gives victory sign*


かわいいでしょう!
lets hope we do a good job tmr.
haha.
freshman sem is on cystic fibrosis.
its quite a painful disease. :/
oh and i din mention abt my hp.
my hp was spoilt rmb, then i went to send it for servicing.
when i went to collect it, they actually replaced it with a new one.
altho same model, it was under warranty and i din have to pay a single cent.
not bad right!
hahaha.
thank God for His blessing.
ehs.
exams are coming in two weeks time.
:/
im like really quite screwed.
sigh im really afraid that i cant make it.
but that day i went for the friday church meeting, the pastor-to-be was sharing abt faith and everything.
one thing that he said was quite farnie, and yet impactful and true.
when you look at the surroundings, you feel that its impossible.
you look at the ppl around you, you 失望.
you look at yourself, you 绝望.
only when you focus on God and trust him, only then will there be hope present.
haha i guess this very much applies to me in my studies.
i see my surroundings and i really think i cmi le.
how to beat all those very zai ppl out there?
but still, God will help me beat that Goliath if i put my trust in Him.
with just one stone.
wel, on that note,
i should go back to my mugging.
ORG CHEM!
im gna eat it all up. =D

mata ne..

OMG SNSB GOT A GOLD WITH HONOURS FOR SYF TODAY!!!!
sooooooooooo happy for them and for ms sia.
hahahhaa.
congrats congrats!!!
tho i like, never go back le but i still feel damn happy for them!
=D
whoaaa..
everyone must have cried like shit lar.
the best part was when i told shueli abt it.

->gloria 涙の意味 said:
*shue li!
*i dont know when you'll come back online
*but
*ST NICKS GOT GOLD WITH HONOURS FOR SYF!!!!!
*:D:D:D:D:D
shueli says:
*HELLOO!!
*OMG ARE U SERIOUSS!!!
->gloria 涙の意味 says:
*HEY!!
*YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
shueli says:
*WHEEEEE!!!!
->gloria 涙の意味 says:
*THEY WERE THE FIRST BAND TODAY
shueli says:
*SO HAPPYYY!!!!!!!!
->gloria 涙の意味 says:
*SYF STARTED YTD
shueli says:
*OMGGGG!!
->gloria 涙の意味 says:
*and ytd only got 3 golds
shueli says:
*YAYYY!
->gloria 涙の意味 says:
*i show you website
*any updates abt syf just go there
*http://sgbandfusion.com/
*they played jericho
shueli says:
*oh my godd!
*so happy!
*i still feel happy can't believe this! haha
->gloria 涙の意味 says:
*hahahaha
*happy right!!!
*:D
*see the website
*OOH
*so far only two GWHs!
shueli says:
*YAYY! hahaha
etc etc.
then..
->gloria 涙の意味 says:
*hahaha
*:D
*oh dear
*ahhaha im missing sec sch
*haha
*i told bixiu today abt the syf thing also
*wahh she also damn excited leh
*ahhahaha
*more excited than me
shueli says:
*HAHA really??
*oh man so nicee
*u know i didn't know i still had attachment for snband until u told me!
*feel really happy
*hahaha guess it is where we "grew up" maybe

yes, and i totally agree that snsb is where we grew up and found good frens that can last till now.
ahaha and we lived in fear of ms sia.
oh man i miss ms sia.
haha. sigh.
i miss ong shueli too.
LOVES SHUELI!
*sends love over*
hahah.
i wonder how shes doing in camb now.
oh dear..
i think its cz recently im like slightly more free, im starting to think alot and emo again.
im feeling relatively upset about myself.
the way i cant meet my own expectations, the way i cant meet other's expectations.
im soo.. inadequate. insufficient. lacking.
theres limit to how much i can do, how much i can give.
sometimes, i just want to stop trying so hard.
and again i ask myself,
why am i here and what am i doing?
what isit tht i am working so hard for?
i dont want to live my life as an empty shell.
i really dont.
sigh.

mata ne..