as usual, on my way home frm jap, i would think abt what to blog.
haha.
guess what?
i decided that il rant abt tday cz TDAY IS A LOUSY DAY.
yea.
just now,
my jap teacher commented that my jap was lousy.
damns.
i am gna screw up and i know it.
how?!
what to do?
damns.
so shit lar.
i dont even understand somethings that she said lar.
and aft the oral prac, she said that, "no wonder your jap oral results are lidat."
damns.
no time le.
im screwed up for every subj.
argh.
i feel like killing myself to end all these crap mans.
haix.
and first thing in the morn, i saw jiaheng and he told me some stuff.
realised alot of ppl not gg for the band trip.
damnits.
some ppl feel left out also.
not like that was anything new.
but, haix.
i feel the worries and burden again.
its like, i promised on the norms that il bond the band tgt and yet, i din do so.
and i just sit there and stone at the situation.
aiya, dont know lar.
anws, i was super pist.
and yea.
I AM SO PIST AT YOU.
yes, YOU.
you are such an idiot.
i cant believe that i trusted you.
oh no.
you've hurt me way too many times.
you've underestimated my sensitivity im tellin you.
takin advantage of me and my nice-ness to you isit?
thinkin that i will just sit there and let you scold everytime isit?
now you've gone over the line, im tellin you.
you are just too much.
you scold me, insult me can le.
and now, thinkin that i wont rebutt, you go on and insult the ppl around me.
oh so I AM SUPPOSED TO SHUT UP AND LET YOU BULLSHIT ISIT?
this is not the first time im tellin you.
you are way too much.
oh the youngest in the family right?
you think that everyone will let you do what you want eh?
hello?!
we are like, in sch, not at home?
well, let me teach you something that you haven learnt for the past 17 years.
its called SPARING A THOUGHT FOR THE OTHERS.
dont think you can go around doing whatever you want.
dont think that everyone will just let you "win" and give you YOUR way.
eh, but what can i expect.
you are aftall, the youngest in the family.
not that every person who is the youngest will be like that.
but one who possesses these characteristics will most probably be THE YOUNGEST.
thats right.
just like you.
argh.
i am pist i tell you.
yea you jolly well know who you are.
i am not puttin your name here bcz i am givin you the basic respect.
i wont want to embarrass you in front of everyone else.
not like you.
no way.
i am not gna be like you.
and dont you dare go around criticizing other ppl when you dont even know them.
thats the most IMMATURE and DISGUSTING way of judgin ppl.
tellin me to grow up?
huh!
look whos talkin.
why am i throwin everything here?
cz i CANT BE BOTHERED to tell you.
i dont care what your reply is.
and theres no way i am gna waste my energy and time listenin to you explain.
or rather, you rebutting your way out and mk yourself sound as if you are right.
that is, if you are EVEN thinkin of doing so.
you selfish idiot.
you self-centered, self indulgent asshole.
not everyone will react like you im tellin you.
not everyone is like you.
cz YOU ARE SO NOT PERFECT.
so let me tell you, stop makin yourself sound as if you are right all the time.
stop the philosophical talk when you cant even live up to it yourself.
and stop criticising others.
dont go and pick the splinter in others' eyes when you have a plank in yours.
eh damns.
this is like, so not exhausive lar.
i can go on all night rantin abt these.
oh and you!
dont take it to heart.
im really sorry for not doing anything about it.
ive made it worst instead.
im so sorry.
i dont know how to make it up.
but, dont take it to heart kay.
dont.
and dont stop trying!
you are improvin, really!
ive seen the willingness in you to change and makin almst immediate efforts to do so.
and that is something that not everyone has.
no, not even me.
it is not easy, but i want you to stay firm in your stand kay!
you have my support dude.
and i know you can do it.
and stop the demoralising talk.
tho i know i am doing it myself.
but stop sayin all those stuff.
cz i knw you can do it.
and i know il see you succeed.
i hope this is not stress to you.
:/
but really,
ive seen improvements and i know il see more.
and you told me that there will be more in the future too, right?
come on dude.
i know you can do it.
haix.
all out.
and i feel alot better.
but what effects will this entry create?
ive got no idea.
this is a turning point.
this is the crossroad.

mata ne..