i dont wna talk abt my results.

just wna come to my old friend here to get some comfort.
tho its not giving me much.
anws, thank those ppl who tried to cheer me up and make me feel better tday.
pui yeok, who was always there sittin nxt to me while gettin the papers, pattin my knees, tellin me that its gna be alrite, that i shant think so much.
priya, who keeps encouragin me and givin me support, tho i know that she herself is not feelin too good either, and huggin me to make sure that i was alrite.
naz, who patted my back. tho a small gesture, it meant alot to me.
rice, who came to talk to me after so long, and asked me abt my situation without makin it sound intimidating and hurtin, and also for just squattin there and listen to me tell you eth.
xinrong, who keeps tellin me that it wont be so easy to be retained, and constantly tries to supply me with new hope.
jinyu, who constanly gives me support, huggin me and makin me walk around so that il feel better.
kok, who came but din ask me how it was. the look you gave me was "questioning" enough. and also tried to make me feel better by tellin me that the marks are not confirmed. and stood there with me when i was crying.
xinrong, jinyu and puiyeok again, for stayin with me and just sittin with me outside lt4 for one hour, lettin me know that you guys are there for me, and only gg home when ive decided to leave.
joann, who came to ask me how was my promos and tellin me that its okayy and to take care of myself.
puiyeok and xinrong again, for sendin me all the way to the bus stop and waited for my bus with me.
puiyeok again, for offerin to take lrt and go home with me, tho she takes the bus way. im so touched by you girl..
wanteng, who pangseh-ed her fren and just sat there next to me on the bus, lettin me know that she is there for me, and for givin me that pat on the hand and tellin me that i cld msg you anytime i need someone.
hyun jae, for noticin that i was stoned. at least i know i am not someone whom no one cares abt.
sin ae, for tryin to make me feel better by tellin me that she has got 2 Ss for her promos and that she has to go for retests.
deborah, for tellin me that her sch results also not very good, and tries to keep my mind away from things by tellin me all sorts of crap and even offered to talk to me if i want to call her.
chih hung and landis. tho i dont know you guys too well, you two noticed and tried to cheer me up thruout the journey from 3rd lang centre to the mrt station. for tellin me all sorts of nonsense and also that a lady is the prettiest when a guy manages to make her smile. that really made me laugh..
landis, for the monkey faces, jumping around, singin of rubbishy songs and tellin me that there will definitely be moderation. that i shant worry too much.
chih hung, for reminding me of God's perfect plan, tho he is not a christian himself. and tellin me that il confirm retain so that when moderation pulls me out and promotes me, il feel very happy.
finally, all the msgs that i got.
from yanghao. who alr noticed that i was upset even after the second paper only, and for tellin me in the msg to smile and not to worry too much. and most of all, not to give up. i was surprised. really surprised.
from leon, section mate.. tellin me to take it easy and God will bless me..
from genevieve, asking me if i was okay and if i can promote. eh.
from shi, tellin me that i may still have a chance, and not to give up. and "we" will be there to support.
from grace, who felt guilty cz she was not there to comfort me in the hall, and offerin to let me rant to her.
from chye keong, whose msg din sound too nice cz he gave me all his promo results, everything, and askin me abt mine. and telling me that "oo thats sad" when i told him abt my situation. right. jz wna thank you for the salt.
from kok again, tellin me again that the final grades are not decided yet. its drilled into my brain alr.
from puiyeok again, who msged me and tell me dont think too much and can make it de. remindin me to remain cheerful. im really touched. really really.
from joann again, tellin me that its not such a bad thing and tellin me to learn from experience. givin me a verse from Romans 8:28 that God works for those who love Him. that God will work things out for me cz im precious to Him and to her as well. tellin me to be happy cz my smile always makes her day.
from tracy, that no matter how results were, God loves me and has a great destiny for me.
and also the replies that i got.
from priya, who tells me that she will be there for me and not to worry. and tellin me that she loves me. thanks priya.. love you too..
from xinrong, who tells me not to worry so much, and to keep my fingers crossed cz things may turn out otherwise.
from wanteng, who tells me that it upsets her when i am sad cz she doesnt know how to make me feel better. its alrite girl. you being there for me is more than enough le.
well.
guess thats it.
many ppl cross this path that i tread.
and many leave impacts on my life.
i will treasure all of you and i really want to thank you all for all that you guys had done.
all the encouragements, all the little gestures that may be deemed as insignificant, all the comfortin words that you guys gave me.
really.
i cant thank you ppl enough.
from the bottom of my heart,
thank you all.
words cant express the appreciation and the gratefulness that lies deep down in my heart.
and i thank God for all of you, who were there to show me God's love.
despite all these obstacles, i will not lose hope in you, my Lord.
i will wait for you to show me the plan you have for me.
hms.
but, im not feelin any better.
not a single bit.
ive never been so screwed up in my life.
i really want to give up.
i really feel like just endin my life here.
i dont want to see no more.
i dont want to experience more storms and walk thru more valleys.
ive waited for the rainbow long enough.
im sick of everything.
im tired, exhausted.
im angry, im irritated, im disappointed, im discouraged, im upset.
i cant walk on anymore.
im fallin off.
im losing my grip.
i lie in darkness.
one path lies in front of me.
the path to hopelessness.
the road of givin up.
hm.
no choice had to go jap tday.
mum wanted me to.

a battle within my soul.

mata ne..