i just dont know how to express myself.
thanks to all who accompanied me all the way to 9.30pm last night.
im sorry for eth..
so paiseh.
wels, i wldnt say i felt better tho.
cz the probs are there and will always be there until i finally find the courage to go solve them.
no matter how many times i rant on my blog, how many ppl i tell,
the probs will always be there.
one thing i have considered.
repercussions of tellin so many ppl so much of my stuff all in one day?
and im really not close to some ppl..
i feel exposed, i feel that ive betrayed myself or sth.
haix.
ohwels.
mr neo saw me tday and asked me the same thing that mr foo asked me.
he asked if i was okay.
asked me if i had any probs with the exco or isit my studies.
he said that altho i am still cheering and smiling, i seem to be out of sorts and dont seem to be myself.
haha.
i din know how to reply.
then he say, anything must tell him.
right.
hm thanks to the teachers ba..
haix.
im so in the mood of sighing and stoning.
every step makes me bleed.
its like walkin on path filled with broken glasses.
each step hurts, each step causes me to bleed.
internally.
each time i bring up the corners of my mouth, it injures me.
i want to sit there and stone, and think.
time is not waiting for me to wallow in self pity tho.
physics test is coming up.
monday.
integration test is coming up.
wednesday.
im screwed.
i dont have time, i dont have the mood, i dont have the ability, i dont have the courage.
a change of face tday..
superficial injuries heals easily.
the face can always give a portrayal of different expressions and feelings.
its the inside that is hard to reach, hard to heal.
its the mind that im losing.
its the mind that is going out of control.
i know.
i get it.
im leaving okay.
there is no need to do that.
but what exactly is holding me back?
i jolly well know the truth.
or shld i say, a guessed-truth?
i wish i cld just look away.
i wish i cld just walk away.
but at the same time,
i wish i cld re-walk that section again.
i dont care.
or maybe i do.
after this, there are just two extremes to choose from.
haix.
what am i talkin abt?
theres a phys test to study for.
damns.
i have too many regrets right here and now.
i really dont know what to do.
haix.
i feel so sick of life that i dont know what to do abt myself and the ppl around me.
but still, thanks to those who stood by me..

mata ne..