gloria cant express herself properly recently.
il try to explain myself and put my point across as much as possible, but when i stop talking, i suddenly dont know what im talking about.
ive been getting very odd feelings.
im not making sense to myself.
others are not making sense to me.
i duno how to react in the right ways.
like i can be laughing like crap at sth but i actually dont think its that farnie.
i feel that some of my smiles are quite fake and stiffed no matter how hard i try to smile from inside.
i try to fix sth but it gets worse instead.
or il solve the problem with very wrong solutions.
i keep saying the wrong things which i dont actually mean.
i dont know how to say the right things to make sad ppl feel happier.
WHATS WRONG!
i think im losing control of myself.
something came and froze whats inside of me.
im losing touch with that part of me.
i cant feel myself anymore.
its this sudden numbness that seeps into every inch of me.
i dont want to become indifferent to the matters happening around me!
i want to do something about it.
i want myself back.
i feel like im being transformed at this alarming speed tht even i cant catch up with the change.
ive been mugging like shit and i dont feel tired.
but when i really force myself to nap, i realise im actually very tired.
eh is being able to stay awake a good thing?
ive got no idea!
im so lost i really dont know what im doing.
i dont know what i want.
all i know is that im working very hard for an exam that i dont even know if il do well in.
theres this darkness that swarms into me.
im like losing all my senses.
oh goshh.. whats happening!
mata ne..