atashinchi no danshi!
i just finished this drama.
its very nice!
i love it!
and i like sho alot.
altho this is like the 3rd show im watching with him in it.
in nodame he was the cello player with 3 gfs, then theres seigi no mikata where he was that magnanimous husband.
but hes extremely stunning in atashinchi no danshi!
=D
i also like satoru!
hes so kawaii!
i like the way he secretly crush chisato. =D
then he always fight with masaru!
masaru was the one who acted in hana kimi and can sense the aura de.
sooo cute!
oh yea and chisato is horikita maki.
i think shes more stunning in this show than in hana kimi also.
i love her smile lar, so pretty!!
hahha love the show, and i absolutely love the ending.
and i think sho and chisato is a good match. =))
cant wait for the special epi. that will take quite some time tho.
YAYYYYY.

but that show is probably the only thing that i am happy about right now.
its just, everything sucks 100%.
and i am feeling superblyy sian.
i think i got burnt out from last week.
and thinking back, i duno why im doing so much for nus' matriculation.
for that bunch of freshies who dont bother about my existence.
its just, running up and down between 2 ccas was extremely exhausting, and at the end of the day, i feel like i dont get anything from it.

ah, apologise for the pessimism.
i think band prac had been pretty sian lately.
and i feel even worse after each band prac.
i am not too sure if its just me or its really the atmosphere in band.
or maybe its good to be a normal member, minding your own business, not knowing all the inside stuff, and just plainly play music.

ppl can get THAT complicated.
i duno. im just very confused about my stand.
its just, as i get older, things around me get complicated.
and i wonder if i shld complicate my own thinking to better deal with the happenings around me.
but i love the way things are kept simple.
a line is drawn and i keep by it.
sometimes its like as if my lines are being drawn by chalk.
it always gets messed up somehow, and rather easily.

sch is starting soon.
and i am back to sch as a year two.
alot of mixed feelings, alot of worries, alot of uncertainties..
i am not too sure how to deal with them.
theres just so much i can do.. i guess leave the rest to God.
but im worried, nonetheless..

and again, theres just so much i can do as a human.
sometimes, like a cactus, to protect myself, i subconsciously hurt others.
i dont mean it, but i really need to back out of it cz everything was getting scary.
way too scary for me to handle.
and, sorry for being easily irritable recently.
with everything whizzing past me all the time, its hard to grab hold of everything, and it gets frustrating.

sometimes i wonder where is our band heading.
and i wonder where is my life heading towards too.
what in the world am i doing?
and im taking the full blow of all my probs myself.
i get so tired of trying to solve and recover from each blow.
sometimes i wish there is really somebody to 怖い物から守ってくれる.
i can hardly face all these straight on anymore.

生活は辛いね。
いくら一生懸命がんばっても、全部が悪くなる。
この気持ちは最低だ。
i have so many so many thots going on in my head.
and its impossible to blast everything here.
i need to set things straight.
i feel like a mess.
like a ball of yarn all tangled up tgt.
sigh.

守ってくれる?　助けてくれる?　そばにいてくれる?
私のために、泣いてくれる？

mata ne..