i feel like i am forced to grow up the moment i took that up.

i am so glad that tuitions are coming to an end, for the moment at least.
cz their exams are all coming soon le.
two of them will have their papers this week.
i am praying for them.
they are hardworking, and i hope that their hardwork pays off.
cz 2 of them arent exactly very confident of themselves when they do their work.
and i hope that the upcoming exams will really boost their confidence.
sighs. theres just so much a teacher can do.

these few weeks arent gg too well for some of us.
someone is like slogging damn hard, having sleepless nights whether its due to insomnia or work.
i cant help but feel very worried and sim tia.
things happened, but forget what was being said.
i understand and i dont want to make things more difficult than the way it already is.
i just want it to be the same again.
i dont think you will see this but,
jiayou.
prayers work wonders.

i am forced to face situations that are much bigger than me.
its like a level 3 character trying to fight a level 10 monster.
sure die one.
theres just too many ppl to meet.
and i am starting to feel the cruelty of the society tearing me apart.
i used to wish that ppl would understand more.
and i once made a decision that it would start from me.
big dream as it may seem, but i tried all that i can to do it.
but,
with my strength and capability, i can only make that many ppl happy.
everyone has different comments, different opinions, and i have my set of values as well.
the kind of dilemma that i get caught into is not just 进退两难, two directions.
it comes in all directions.
and it gets so claustrophobic and frustrating that i want to tear it all apart and run away.
but i know that the consequences of doing that would be to land myself in a worser situation than i am already in now.
stop pushing me to grow older than my age.
stop forcing me to act falsely like the way you guys do.
i know that there is a difference between being fake and being polite.
and i dont live to make ppl happy and do the things you guys want me to do.
i finally understand the multiple faces that has to be created and put up in front of different different ppl.

i want to be myself.
i want to believe once again in the things that i am losing faith in.
please come back.
come back and give me hope again.

mata ne..