im spamming blog posts. haha.
did i mention that the hairdresser cut my hair too short? DARN.
anw, i still have this humongous load of thots that is stuck in me and its bothering me quite abit.
its just generally not making me feel as secure.
insecurity level - 99%.
i am feeling VERY SIAN VERY SIAN VERY SIAN.
nothing that i do gives me a sense of satisfaction actually.
i feel like im running up and down day and night, and i cant seem to do anything right.
somehow a small part of my mind is still stuck on band camp.
i really thot it was nice for someone to ask me to do things tgt, cz i am usually the one doing that to other ppl.
honestly, not to make it sound weird, but i enjoyed that feeling alot.
partly cz i really dont like to be alone, and it felt good to have someone to stick to.
maybe cz the past semester, i was thrown to be by myself during non-lesson times, and i really missed the feeling of having a confirmed friend around to eat with etc..
but, i think the next sem is gna be worse.
im not just gna be alone during break, il most probs be alone during lesson times too.
yea, i dont have module buddies next semester, and i am feeling very insecure about it.
:/
but then again i wonder how long is this temporary sense of security going to last in band.
for reasons that i dont really wna speak of, i think i really need the company in band.
actually, in school during lessons too...
please do not leave me alone! haha.
i am feeling sick. literally. zzzz.
sigh..
life does suck, doesnt it.
why am i stuck here?
mata ne..